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At the start of a relationship, we don’t always see the man we might become.

What can I do? How can I change?

Published: 07 December 2022

The first step is recognising that what you are doing is not healthy for either of you and not right. The actions you’re carrying out to keep hold of your partner is pushing them further away. Abusive behaviour in any form is unacceptable and will result in you being arrested and charged.

Abusive behaviour can develop for a number of reasons but ultimately how you choose to behave is down to you and no one else.

There are resources that you can turn to for help.


Respect is an organisation who looks to end domestic abuse by working with those who are being abusive to help educate them, support them and help them change their behaviour. They have a number of resources which you may find helpful.

Understanding if your relationship and behaviour is abusive

Respect’s Self Help Guide for men who are being abusive

Factsheets on dealing with anger, managing jealousy and managing stress

You can also contact Respect for help and support by calling 0808 8024040 (Mon-Fri 10am-5pm), by emailing or using their web chat function on their website (Thursday 2-4pm). Respect also offer an interpretation service for people who would prefer to access support in another language.

Young Scot
The Young Scot website section on healthy relationships has good information on positive relationships.

Mental Health Foundation
The Mental Health Foundation have produced a healthy relationships leaflet written by young people for young people.

Other organisations who can provide immediate 24/7 support include:
Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234
Samaritans Scotland on 116 123
Additional domestic abuse support organisations can be found on the Police Scotland website

In an emergency call 999.