Neil's story: Account of perpetrator who addresses their behaviour pre-arrest

"I was always hopeless in relationships and found being online easier than being in the ‘real world’.

The anonymity allowed me to say things I would never say in person.

Honestly, connecting with people online was the only thing I wanted to do.

I started to spend more time talking sexually with adults online and less time going out.

I would make my excuses to my friends and my family to avoid seeing them.

Eventually, I didn’t care what age the people I talked to were.

I told myself – I wasn’t forcing anyone to do anything they didn’t want to.

But in the cold light of day, I knew my behaviour wasn’t normal.

At first, I didn’t know who to talk to.

But then I became aware of Stop It Now.

I spoke to Pete on the Stop It Now! helpline.

He helped me understand the consequences of my behaviour on victims, and steps I could take to stop.

I’m in a much better place now.

I’ve joined a walking group, taken up gardening, and put boundaries on my online use.

I feel better about my future and myself."

Grooming includes engaging in sexual conversations ONLINE with anyone under the age of 16.

It is a serious crime.

Get help stopping your behaviour with anonymous support from Stop It Now! Scotland.